As you may have noticed, I am making valliant efforts to not over-think or obsess about every day, minute, second... of what is going on with me right now. There are days when I allow myself a few minutes to just wonder about it all - what it might look like, or how it's personality will evolve - but for the most part, I am trying to keep all that stuff pretty buttoned up right now. Just easier, I s'pose.
I have a good friend that found out she was pg a couple of weeks before I did - hers is not going so well, and she is enduring yet another devastating loss. It's so not fair. It would be really easy to internalize this and let my emotions spiral out of control - but I won't. It's tragic and sad and horrible - but it's not me. I wish more than anything that she wasn't going through what she is - but I cannot allow myself to create more stress or negativity in my own world right now - for fear of the impact that it could have on me. On one hand - that sounds incredibly selfish, doesn't it? I know it does. On the other though - if the shoes were on the other feet - you bet your ass I'd want her to be doing the same thing that I am - and I know she'd be disappointed if I were NOT going about living this way. Our friendship is strong and true and we will get through this (the good and the bad) - together.
1 comment:
I am so sorry to learn of your friend's loss. Being on the other side of a similar situation (where she went on to have a perfect baby and I, of course, didn't), I can say that just being there when she needs you will mean more than you know. Good luck!
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